Ever find yourself lost in thought, only to be interrupted by somebody else’s favorite line setting up shop in your memory? Just the other day I was nonchalantly slogging through the latest round of proofreading my serialized companion novel about to be released on Kindle Vella when out of the blue, I heard my uncle’s gravelly voice deliver his standard response to most any situation—Well (choose your own expletive), close enough for rock & roll.
He wasn’t actually my uncle since he was my cousin’s second husband, but to this day it’s common practice in my family to refer to anyone older than you as Aunt or Uncle no matter their bloodline, marital status, or loose affiliation. So once he & my aunt fell in love after a spirited discussion about a close call he made at home plate during a Little League game, he quickly became one of my favorite uncles. Unfortunately, he didn’t last long as a doting husband & role model due to being ostracized by the entire family after his main rival (Husband #1 & #3) dug up dirt on him that my aunt still refuses to share & swears to take to her grave.
That’s her choice, of course, as it is mine to allow my uncle’s influence to live on in my fiction writing. Not only have I borrowed many of his quirks for random use, but I also paid homage to him with one of my favorite characters—Jordy, the love of the narrator’s life in my previous novel Pearl Fields and the Oregon Meltdown.
In addition, the ump’s signature line has become my latest mantra during the ongoing wrestling match with my dreaded nemesis Revise-a-tron. (OK, I admit that’s a lousy villain name for the revision process, & rest assured, I promise never to use it in any comic book adaptation of my independent author’s journey.)
Going forward though, whenever I do find myself grappling with a sticky revision point—say, whether to go with driver-side door or driver’s-side door*—I’ll gladly welcome back my uncle’s gritty one-liner, flip a coin, & move on.
Till next time.
Drew
* From the Chicago Manual of Style Online:
Q. When referring to the left or right side of a vehicle, is the adjective possessive or attributive? Is the proper form “driver’s-side door” or “driver-side door”?
A. You get to decide! Both are fine.
